Posted By: Booker
Date: Friday July 30 [10:55 AM]
….continued from last episode. You may recall that our injured trio, Jambo (bruised larynx from having a day planner shoved down his throat by Andi), Eben (second degree burns from a flaming blast of 151 proof Barcardi from Shing), and FroMan (concussion from being whacked upside the head with a rolling pin by Andi’s wife) are meeting with an attorney (Thomas Wallace) to discuss their case. They are meeting in Wallace’s 41st floor office in Manhattan.
***
Wallace: “Tell me more about this “fireball””.
Eben does not respond to the question. Looking up, the attorney notices that Eben’s eyes are fixated straight ahead. He’s looking right past the lawyer as if he weren’t even there, in a trance like state. Wallace snaps his fingers in the air a few times, directly in front of the well-Vaselined Eben, in an effort to get his attention.
Wallace: *snap* *snap* *snap*
Eben does not respond.
Wallace (speaking to FroMan): “What’s with him?”
He then notices that FroMan has a similar look on his face. Slowly, Eben manages to raise his arm and begins pointing out the window directly behind the attorney’s desk. Wallace wheels around in his high-backed leather chair to see what the deal is. He notices that the window washer’s scaffold has made its way down to his office, but other than that everything appears normal.
Wallace: “What’s the matter – you’ve never seen window washers before?”
Jambo (lips again begin moving….no sound):
Wallace: “I said knock that off!”
Eben (still pointing out the window): “Its….its THEM!”
The lawyer spins around a second time to take a look out the window & this time he does a double take. There are six men standing on the window washer’s platform outside his window, they are wearing the typical white coveralls which all of the building maintenance staff wears, but they clearly have little interest in cleaning windows. Standing in a row, are Andi, BIOMAX, Jason F, MaximaMike, Woodear and Chad. Hands cupped over their faces to eliminate glare from the sun, they are staring into the office – glaring at its four occupants.
In one motion, all six of them remove their hands from their foreheads & press their palms against the pane glass side of the building, at chest level. They look as if they are attempting to do push ups, or prevent the building from falling. The five to Chad’s right turn their heads in his direction and begin paying very close attention to him. Chad, looking down the row at the others, can clearly be seen mouthing the following words:
Chad: “One…..two….THREEE”
On the count of three, the six men push with all their strength against the side of the building. The strain can clearly be seen on their faces as they strain to move the 1200 pound structure. As their elbows straighten and the scaffolding shoots away from the window. Suspended from the roof of the skyscraper, the platform swings out like a giant steel pendulum. At about 15 feet from the side of the building, it losses its outward momentum, pauses briefly in the air, and then comes careening back toward the side of the building. The six men have all now squatted down and are bracing for the impact. Back inside the office, Eben, Jambo & FroMan have just now figured out what is happening & begin to scramble for cover. Wallace, seated on the side of the desk nearest the giant window, does not have that option. The metal structure is now just a fraction of a second from impact!
Wallace: “AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!”
With a mighty CRASH the steel platform collides with the side of the building. The thick plate glass window implodes into the office. Glass goes flying everywhere, cutting and nicking the balding, portly litigant badly. Upon impact the six Maxima drivers leap into the air and, looking like the Flying Corsican Brothers, do a single simultaneous front somersault, landing on their feet just inches from the lawyer’s desk. A HUGE gust of wind is pouring into the office from the now-missing 8 x 10 x 20 sheet of glass. Papers from the lawyer’s desk are swirling about in the air, paper clips and other light objects are being sucked out and thrust toward the ground 500 feet below.
Wallace (collecting his wits): “What the…?”
Shouting to be heard above the wind turbulence in the room, Andi begins barking out orders like some sort of Mafia head.
Andi (motioning to MaximaMike and Woodear): “You know what to do.” (glances at Jambo) “What ‘cha talking about….old buddy?”
Jambo’s lips beging moving furiously and his face turns red as he strains to shout at Andi: “no sound”
Wallace (to Jambo): “WHAT’D I TELL YOU ABOUT THAT?!!”
MaximaMike, Woodear and Chad storm over to Wallace’s chair and grab the unsuspecting lawyer. They drag him, kicking and screaming, directly over to the lip of the missing window. Woodear yanks him to his feet and the three of him flip him upside down and shove him out. Wallace is now completely outside of the building, MaximaMike is hanging onto his left leg, Jason F has him by the belt, and Chad is holding his right leg. Wallace is dangling, upside down, 41 stories above the concrete sidewalk below. He can hear taxi’s honking their horns and feels the wind rushing across his bald scalp. Suddenly, something hits him on the nose & then falls – a quarter! Another one. Then a dime,…some pennies – the loose change in his pant pockets is falling out! He reaches his hand out a fraction of a second too late to grab his wallet – it races past his face, followed closely by his cellular phone, both now plummeting 100 miles per hour toward the earth, 41 stories below.
Wallace: “Oh God, no! Pull me in, PULL ME IN!!!!”
BIOMAX: “What’d you say, punk?”
Wallace: “ANYTHING….I’LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING!! JUST PULL ME IN!”
Andi nods to MaximaMike and they yank the lawyer back into the office. MaximaMike gives the elder statesman a hard shove in the chest and he flys backward into his chair, which rolls to a stop right in front of Andi.
Andi (glaring down at him): “You know – I really wouldn’t recommend that you work with these guys, it could be bad for your health. You understanding me?”
The thoroughly dazed Wallace just nods.
Andi: “Good. Here, this should cover the damage to the window.”
Andi nods in Woodear’s direction. Woodear reaches into his front pocket and produces a FAT roll of bills – all with Ben Franklin’s picture on them. He peels off fifteen of the one hundred dollars bills and tosses them at Wallace. They immediately are lifted into the air and join the swirling mass of paper that’s gyrating about inside the office.
Andi: “Let’s go.”
With that, the six of them vault back onto the scaffold. BIOMAX grabs the control box and pushes the “up” button. The electric motors begin to whir and the platform slowly moves upward. Up, up, up, and finally, gone out of view.
FroMan: “You see!! Those guys are nuts! They’ll…”
Wallace (cutting him off mid sentence): “GET OUT! NOW!!! All three of you – OUT! Get the %#@$!# out of my office!!
FroMan: “But, this is exactly what we’re talking about. They have no respect for anybody! What about the 50 million?”
Wallace: “Get out before I THROW you out! (punching buttons on his desk to phone) SECURITY!! GET ME SOME SECURITY IN HERE – RIGHT NOW!”
FroMan: “Ok, ok,…we’re leaving.”
With that the trio exit the office. They take the elevator down and are now standing in the lobby of the building and are catching some VERY strange looks. (Not suprising, considering that FroMan's head is completely wrapped in bandages and he’s wearing sunglasses & that Eben’s face is bright pink, has a Vaseline sheen on it & his eyebrows are drawn on with magic marker).
FroMan: “Well, I guess that’s that.”
Eben (looks out into the street and spies three Maxima’s & a GS400 parked at the curb): “No its not. I’ve got an idea – follow me.”
Signed by - theBooker, Master of the dramatic; creator/author/editor-in-cheif of the hit series, "As the BBS Turns"; Shing's friend; loving husband; dedicated father, and all around good guy. Often seen driving a 96 Pebble Beige 5-spd SE.
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