Posted By:
Booker (not just for Friday's anymore) (216.163.191.2)
Date: Friday December 17 [12:07:03 PM]
JustinMc: “Look man, we’ve tried everything, we’ve looked everywhere. We’ve been through every dumpster and garbage can within two miles of here! And nothing! There’ s less than fifteen minutes left in this thing, and none of your ideas have worked!”
Biomax: “Ok then smart guy, what do you suggest?”
JustinMc: “Let’s just walk up to one of these houses, and ask.”
Biomax: “Oh yeh, right. Like some around here is just going to GIVE us – two dopey looking white guys – a bottle of their Afro Sheen. Nobody around here ever wears an afro anymore. I haven’t seen ONE! All of these dudes are BALD.”
JustinMc: “Well its worth a try. And it sure beats picking through these stupid garbage cans. Come on.”
Biomax begrudgingly follows JustinMc up onto the stoop of the building. JustinMc rings the doorbell.
** ** **
Its simple – Chebosto and MaximaLuva are stone cold busted. No sense in even trying to come up with a lie. The bottle is still in his hand. But there’s two of them and one of her, plus she has a baby in her lap. Despite it being a little bit embarrassing, the bottom line is – what could she do? They can just swallow some pride, and, up and walk out.
What they didn’t realize was that Sheila Foley has a license. She is licensed by the state of New York to carry a hand gun, and she does. She releases the baby with one hand and places the other into her purse. When she pulls the hand out, there’s a Smith & Wesson, nickel plated 8mm in it. MaximaLuva sees the butt of the gun coming out and BOLTS for the door. Before Sheila Foley has the gun out good, he’s already through the door and into the stair well. Vaulting down flights of stairs in record speed. Leaving his boy Chebosto, high and dry.
Foley pulls out the gun and begins to point it in the direction of Chebosto. Spying the open window, Chebosto throws the bottle out, and begins to make a move for the door himself.
In an effort to cut the energy bills, the building management has installed self-closing doors. Following MaximaLuva’s flight, the door has already closed behind him. Chebosto is busy messing with the door knob, when he hears a loud *pop*. Sort of like a gun shot sound. Then he feels the pain.
** ** **
Bill99GXE, Kaleb and Kevin have been pointlessly roaming the streets of Harlem, New York for over two and a half hours – since Event #5 started – and haven’t a single thing to show for their efforts. Feeling dejected, the three have decided to give up and call it quits. They had ventured to the far edges of the borough, so thirty five blocks from the park where Booker and the finish line are, and have started the slow trudge back. Nearly three miles.
Kaleb: “Well this has been one helluva waste of a day.”
Kevin: “You said it, man. I don’t know what we were thinking of to start with - a jock strap. Like you just see those things laying around everyday. That Booker is a nut, we should’ve trashed this whole stupid idea in the first place. A scavenger hunt. What a head-case.”
As two men banter on about the scavenger hunt and the jock strap, Bill99GXE is walking in obvious concentration. He’s straining his eyes skyward, as if trying to remember something.
Kaleb: “Maybe we should’ve tried the door-to-door thing. Who knows, it might have worked.”
Kevin: “Are you crazy or something? Around here? (he points up and down the apartment lined street) What are we supposed to say after we knock, ‘Excuse me ma’am, do you happen to have a crusty old used jock strap laying around that my friends and I can have?’. Get real – we’d have been shot!”
Suddenly, Bill99GXE stops in his tracks. Its as if something that Kevin just said has triggered his memory.
Bill99GXE: “I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it!”
Kaleb: “What? You can’t believe what?”
Bill99GXE: “I can’t believe that I forgot that!”
Kaleb: “Forgot what?! You want to clue us in too here, Sherlock? What the heck are you talking about?”
Bill99GXE: “I’m WEARING a jock strap, right now!”
Kaleb & Kevin (together in unison): “WHAT?!!”
Bill99GXE: “Geez! I’d forgotten all about it. Here we’re trekking all over the place, and I’ve got one on the entire time!”
Bill99GXE is so excited, he doesn’t realize how what he’s saying sounds. He looks up and sees the other two eyeing him like he was some sort of a freak from Mars.
Bill99GXE: “What?”
Kevin: “Would you mind explaining WHY, on a Friday afternoon, you’re walking around wearing a jock strap?”
Now it dawns on Bill99GXE, he’s caught flat footed and starts searching for some reasonable explanation.
Bill99GXE: “Uuuuh,….well ….ahhhhh ….you know …….ahhhh …..well, you see….ahhh …..well …..the thing is …..I ..ahhhhhh…..
**
Frans96SE is no longer hearing Eben. He strolls over to the woman, and reaches for the baby bottle. Just as he reaches for it the woman does the same. Both of their hands hit the bottle at the same time. Each determined not to be out-done, Frans96SE and the woman are now in a tug-of-war! This goes on for about 5 seconds, and Eben is losing his patience.
Eben: “Damn, what is he doing? Lemme go and break this up.”
Eben jogs over to the two, who are still tugging away at the bottle, now starting a scene
Woman: “Let go, would you get off my baby bottle!!?”
Frans96SE : “C’mon lady, I NEED this bottle!!”
Things are getting loud, and Eben can’t stay quiet any longer
Eben: “Give the lady her bottle back.”
Frans96SE (with dogged determination): “C’mon we can do this.”
Eben mushes Frans squarely in the face, and gives the bottle back to the woman
Eben: “Man , you must be nuts, what’s wrong with you?”
Frans96SE is not listening, he shoves Eben to the side, grabs the bottle and bolts. Eben tries to stop him, but hey, Eben only weighs 100lbs soaking wet, so Frans96SE’s shove moved Eben almost 20 feet away.
As soon as Eben gets back to his feet and starts to after Frans96SE, he hears:
“FREEZE!!!! PUT BOTH HANDS ON YOUR HEAD WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!! DO IT NOW BOY!!!
Eben: “BOY, who the hell you calling BOY?”
Suddenly, it all made sense to Eben, he ain’t in D.C. any more, matter of fact, these NY cops might toss him a beat down because of his D.C. accent
Officer: “DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID TO YOU, BOY!!! HANDS ON YOUR HEAD NOW!!!
Eben puts his hands up on top of his head, not believing what just happened.
Eben (muttering): “Ain’t this a bitch, getting arrested because of Frans96SE’s stupid @$$. Double damn, and all this crap over that idiot Andi.”
As the police are walking Eben to the car outside, he gets a good look at the young woman. She is gorgeous!!! She smiles at Eben, and old habits dying hard, he falls back into Playa mode
Eben: “Excuse me Miss, Sorry about what my friend just did to you, but, my name is Ebe…”
Officer: “ Shut the hell up, and keep moving…”
The cop shoves Eben towards the door. Eben shouts back to her over his shoulder:
Eben: “Do you live around here often, baby?? Can I call you??!!”
** ** **
Frans96SE hits the street, striding like he’s in The Running Man. He looks at his watch. 10 minutes to go.
Frans96SE: “Gotta get back to Booker… This is it!!! Feet don’t fail me now….”
** ** **
MaximaLuva bursts out of the building and onto the sidewalk. All he knows is that woman had a gun and he heard a gun shot. While not too uncommon around these parts, its enough to get his heart pounding. He doesn’t know what became of Chebosto and doesn’t really care at the moment. He just wants to get the heck out.
MaximaLuva takes a couple of steps down the sidewalk, glances down, and there right in front of him is the baby bottle! What the…? He looks up and see the partially open third floor window. Chebosto must have thrown it out! Awesome! That Chebosto – what a gamer! He made the ultimate sacrifice for his team, and STILL delivered the goods.
MaximaLuva picks up the bottle and makes the short jog across the intersection, around the baseball diamond and over to the other side of the park where Booker and the rest are. He gives the bottle to Booker.
Booker looks it over, picks up his clipboard and places a check mark next to “Baby Formula” on the MaximaMafa’s list.
Booker: “Tied up again. Three to three.”
Woodear: “Is Chebosto all right?”
MaximaLuva: “Ahhh, yeh. He’s fine.”
** ** **
EricL has been pacing himself. He’s long since forgotten the image of Wizeguy sitting there with his arm sticking out of a pit bull’s mouth. Its been about ten minutes and he’s already over halfway there. His years of running cross-country in high school are really paying off. The well conditioned college student has hit his stride, he’s certain that he can make it to Booker in time.
** ** **
A little girl, who appears to be about six or seven years old answers the door.
Kid: “Yes, can I help you?”
Biomax: “Well, this is your bright idea – go ahead.”
JustinMc: “Ahhh,…hi. My name is JustinMc, and this is Biomax. We’re playing a game, a scavenger hunt. Do you know what that is?”
Kid: “Sure I do.”
JustinMc: “Good. Well, we need to find a bottle of Afro Sheen. Do you know if you have one that you could possibly spare?”
The kid gets a quizzical look on his face, and then responds.
Kid: “I think so. Hang on a second while I go look and ask my mom.”
The kid closes the door on the two and retreats into the house.
JustinMc: “See, that wasn’t so hard now, was it?”
** ** **
At first it felt like he’d been pinched or something. But then the stinging grew more intense, and started to spread. Chebosto tries to take a step, but the moment he put pressure down on his left foot an intense stabbing pain shot right from his left buttocks to his hip and up his back. He falls to the floor with a thud, holding his back side.
Sheila Foley: “Maybe that’ll teach you, you damn thief!”
Chebosto has been shot – right in the @$$! The small, low power hand gun is not capable of inflicting a mortal wound – at least not in this part of the body, but man does it sting. The tiny metal bullet has lodged right in the dense muscle tissue of his left butt cheek, just about two inches below the skin surface.
Babies are screaming. Crying from being startled by the sudden and loud bang that the little gun has made. Chebosto is rolling around on the floor, in a pain mixture of pain and disbelief.
Chebosto: “YOU SHOT ME, YOU WITCH!! I can’t believe it! You shot me!”
Foley: “Darn right I did. Maybe that will teach you to keep your hand out of other people’s belongings!”
Chebosto: “You shot me!!”
The door leading into the Doctor’s office comes flying open and a nurse rushes out into the waiting area. Spying Chebosto on the ground, she speeds to his aide.
Nurse: “What happened? Are you ok?”
Chebosto: “Do I look ok to you lady?!! I’ve just been shot in the @$$!!”
Nurse: “Just calm down and roll over onto your stomach. Let me have a look.”
Chebosto complies and the nurse begins inspecting him. She pulls a siccers out of her jacket and cuts a portion of his jeans away.
Chebosto: “HEY! Those are ninety dollar Ralph Loren’s you’re cutting on!”
Once she has a good portion of cheek exposed, the nurse checks the entry wound. Chebosto hollers loudly.
Chebosto: “OUCH!!”
Nurse: “Oh stop being such a cry baby! Its barely a flesh wound. Come on in back and we’ll get ‘cha all fixed up”.
** ** **
After a few minutes, the little girl returns to the door – with a bottle of Afro Sheen in her hand! JustinMc and Biomax can’t believe it. Too easy!!
Kid: “Here you go mister, you can have it on just one condition.”
Biomax: “Ok, sure. What?”
Kid: “One of you has to come in and play dolls with me.”
Biomax: “WHAT?!”
The kid opens the door a little wider to reveal a miniature table that she has set up just in the entry way. On the table is a toy tea set, places and servings for four. Seated in two of the four chairs around the table are a Barbie doll and a Furby doll. The child points to one of the two empty seats.
Kid: “My name is Yolanda. I sit here. Now which one of you wants to sit over there? Its almost tea time you know?”
She waves the bottle of Afro Sheen in the air.
Biomax and JustinMc just look at each other.
** ** **
Kaleb: “Nevermind, I don’t want to know the answer to that question anyway. Just get them off, quick! We’ve got just about (checks his watch), twenty minutes and Bookers is probably two miles or more from here.”
Bill99GXE: “Take them off?!! Look were we are – in the middle of the sidewalk in broad daylight. This is my underwear for crying out loud, if I take them off – I’ll be NAKED from the waist down.”
Kaleb: “Look man, we don’t have time to find you a nice sanitary public rest room! We’ve got to move! Just do it. Nobody’s paying any attention to you.”
Kevin: “He’s right, bro. Just do it.”
Bill99GXE (looking around nervously): “Right here?!”
Kaleb: “Right here, right now.”
Bill99GXE: “Ok then. Here I go.”
With that Bill99GXE takes off his hiking boots, unzips his jeans and slips them off. As Bill99GXE, passersby on the sidewalk are doing their best not to look and to just hurry by the trio. Not everyone, however, is trying not to look. Shane Dowley, in fact has taken a keen interest in the free peep show.
Unbeknownst to them, the three Jambytes are standing directly across the sidewalk from “Castro East – A Men’s Establishmet”. Castro’s is one of New York’s better known gay nightclubs, and the room full of gay black has noticed one thing from gazing looking out the window - Bill99GXE has some shapely legs.
** ** **
JustinMc: “NO!! NO WAY! I’m not going for it. Not a chance in hell! I’m NOT staying here and playing dolls with this little girl. Forget it! NO WAY!”
Biomax: “Listen man, we don’t have time to argue”
JustinMc: “Then let’s do it again!”
Biomax: “No! Now we both agreed – one flip of a coin, and we both agreed to live by the outcome. You lost. What can I say.”
JustinMc: “You can say that you’ll stay here and do it.”
Biomax: “Sorry man, but you lost fair and square. Now do you want to get Andi back or not? C’mon! I’ve got less than ten minutes! As it is I’m going to have to run the whole way there. Just do it. I’m not going to tell anybody!”
JustinMc: “Hrmph!! You’d better not!”
JustinMc and Biomax enter the house.
Biomax: “Ok, Yolanda – he’s going to stay here and play with you. Now can I have the Afro Sheen.”
Kid: “Ok, mister.”
Yolanda gives Biomax the bottle. He turns around, hits the door and takes off running.
Yolanda (to JustinMc): “Ok, you sit here.”
JustinMc takes a seat in the tiny toy chair. At five foot eleven, he just barely fits into it. His knees are up around his chest and the boy is feeling incredibly stupid.
Yolanda (pointing to the Barbie and Furby dolls): “Say hello to Mindy and Turbo.”
JustinMc (reluctantly): “Hello Mindy. Hello Turbo.”
Yolanda: “Coffee or tea? We’re all having tea.”
JustinMc: “Tea.”
Yolanda: “Tea, whaaaat???”
JustinMc: “Tea, please.”
Yolanda: “Ok, that’s better.”
The child then picks up the little tea pot (which has nothing in it, of course) and pours make believe tea for all four.
Yolanda: “Sugar and cream?”
JustinMc: “Yes.”
Yolanda just gives him a look.
JustinMc: “Yes, please.”
Yolanda: “Ok. How many lumps.”
JustinMc has never felt this stupid in his entire life.
JustinMc: “Two, PLEASE.”
Yolanda: “That’s better.”
The little girl lifts the lid off of a toy sugar bowl and places two imaginary sugar cubes into JustinMc’s tiny tea cup. She then waits for him to taste it. JustinMc is just sitting there.
Yolanda: “Well. Aren’t you going to try it?”
JustinMc picks up the tiny cup, brings it to his lips and makes a slurping sound.
JustinMc: “Mmmm. Very good.”
Yolanda: “I’m glad you like it.”
The four (two) of them sit for what seems like an eternity to JustinMc (really about three minutes). The little girl then chimes in.
Yolanda: “Uh-ooooo.”
JustinMc: “What? What?”
Yolanda (shakes her finger at the Furby doll): “You shouldn’t have done that Turbooo. You know we have company.”
JustinMc: “What? What’d he do?”
Yolanda (to JustinMc): “I hope you’re good at changing diapers – cause someone’s stinky!”
** ** **
Kevin has been making good time. He’s covered seven blocks in just under five mintues. “Looks like I’ll make it”, he thinks to himself. He’s not alone though. A few blocks back, he noticed someone else on the other side of the street about a block ahead of him, running in the same direction. Kevin had paced the other jogger, but now has gained about a half a block on him. The other guy looks for all the world like EricL.
** ** **
Kaleb is standing there holding Bill99GXE’s jeans. Bill is standing there wearing a Clemson sweatshirt, underneath a leather jacket, white sweat socks, and a jock strap. He’s about to go for it, and “expose” the world to all his glory.
Kevin: “We can’t stand here and wait for him to get re-dressed. The second he’s got that thing off, we need to be on the move.”
Bill99GXE: “NOW WAIT A MINUTE! You two aren’t going to just run off and leave me standing here on the sidewalk with no pant on!”
Kaleb: “He’s right. One of us should go, and the other stay. How fast are you?”
Kevin: “Damn fast. I ran the 800 meter and the mile in highschool.”
Kaleb: “Ok then, you grab the jock and take off. I hate running. I’m about as fast as molasses running uphill in January. You’ve got fifteen minutes to get back to Booker, think you can make it?”
Kevin: “I’ll try. Go ahead Bill.”
Bill99GXE: “OK.”
Bill99GXE yanks the jock down, he stands on his left foot and slips the atheletic supporter over his right foot. Then does the reverse. He hands it to Kevin, who instantly takes off running. Bill99GXE is standing there naked from the waist down (except the socks). His dingaling, flapping in the wind.
Shane Dowley and several of his friends have seen all that they need to see. Dowley, followed by about eleven other men, rush out of the gay bar, cross the street and surround Kaleb and Bill99GXE.
Bill99GXE (to Kaleb): “Gimme those!”
He snatches his jeans out of Kaleb’s hands and starts struggling to put them on.
Dowley: “Need a little help with those? Here, let me give you a hand.”
Bill99GXE: “No, no..that’s quite alright, I’ve got it.”
Another gay man: “Say, maybe you fellas would like to join us for a drink.”
Another: “Yeh, and maybe a dance.”
Kaleb (visibly nervous): “No,…no thanks,… we’ve really go to be running along.”
Dowley: “What, are you too GOOD to drink with us?”
Bll99GXE has managed to slip back into his pants and is busy zipping them up.
Kaleb: “No, its not that, its just that we have a previous engagement.”
Dowley: “Well screw your engagement – we want to dance.”
With that, the twelve men close ranks on Kaleb and Bill99GXE. Several of them grab Kaleb and Bill99GXE by the arms and drag them toward the entrance to Castro’s.
Bill99GXE: “No, really guys – I’d love to, but we have to get going.”
The men “escort” Bill99GXE and Kaleb into the dimly lit club and close the door behind them.
Shane Dowley yells to the DJ: “SOMETHING SLOW.”
** **
Biomax hits the sidewalk and starts running. He estimates its about a seven block run back to Booker. He just has to go up one block, hang a left, and then it’s a straight shot to the park. Just as he is about to reach the corner and make a left, EricL darts past him! They nearly collide. Biomax can see that his arch rival is clutching a dog collar. He’s running for the park too! And then – zoom! Kevin goes bolting by. Biomax gives chase, a mere fifteen feet behind. “Damn, that kid’s fast!”
** ** **
Meanwhile, back at the finish line:
** ** **
TheBooker eyes his wrist watch carefully. 2:56. With just six minutes to go, Event 5 is drawing to a close. Members of both factions are nervously standing around, waiting to see who’ll make it to the finish line with their item before 3:00 strikes. They have no idea, of course, that several people are now in jail, under federal investigation, playing dolls with a nine year old kid, etc..
Booker: “Well gentlemen, with just over five minutes to go our score is Jambytes 3 items, MaximaMafia 3. And it looks like that’s how its going to end.”
Matt93GXE (suddenly points down the street): “No its not! LOOK!”
The crowd looks up just in time to see the sprinting combatants coming up the street. The men are running right in the middle of the street, not even worrying about traffic. There appears to be four of them, and they’re chugging away full bore. Though still about four blocks away, they can clearly see that its EricL, Kevin, Biomax and Frans96SE.
Booker: “Let’s see that’s Kevin, Frans96SE and EricL. They’re all Jambytes. And Biomax. Hmmm. (checks his watch) They can all still make it. If they do, that’ll give the Jambytes 6 items, and the Mafia 4. Looks like you guys are about to win. Congrats Jambo.”
SkyMax: “Not so fast, smart guy. It ain’t over til its over.”
** ** **
Having had the least distance to run, Frans96SE is the freshest of the four and starts pulling away. He’s followed by Kevin, who’s about twenty feet back, and EricL, with Biomax bringing up the rear.
Just three blocks to go. Frans96SE is really digging in. In a full sweat, he can feel that he’s pulling away from the pack. Frans96SE is excited and concentrating hard on breathing evenly. He’s concentrating so hard, that he doesn’t even notice the burgundy red Saturn, parked on the side of the road. Huffing and puffing, he runs right past it.
** ** **
Back at the finish line, the Jambytes are getting all hyped up. They are already sporting a one item lead, and with three of their guys coming up the street and just one of the MaximaMafia’s guys – its pretty obvious that this one is in the bag. They start celebrating and taunting the MaximaMafia.
Jambo: “Hey, how does it feel – LOSERS! You guys really suck, you know that?”
The rest of the Jambytes join in the chorus of taunts. The Mafia can only listen and take their medicine like men.
** ** **
Kevin, however, does notice the Saturn. Its still about ten feet in front of him, but he can clearly see the image of a person sitting behind the wheel. He smells a rat. Just as he is approaching, the Saturn’s front wheels light up with a SCREEEECH!!! Sending plumes of white smoke and the smell of burning rubber into the air. The driver pins the throttle and pulls away from the curb – giving chase to the dashing Frans96SE. A second later he has caught up, and pulls the car up parallel along side Frans96SE, a mere fifteen inches away, and matches his speed.
Still sprinting, Frans96SE looks to his left and sees BrianW, mugging at him through the open driver’s side window of the Saturn.
Frans96SE: “YOU!! Why you…!… YOU’RE the filthy RAT that’s been sabotaging…”
Before he can finish, BrianW mashes the accelerator and quickly opens distance on him. BrianW is now about ten feet in front of Frans96SE, who is still pouring on the steam. Suddenly, BrianW swings the driver’s door of his car all the way open and STANDS on the brake peddle. The Saturn comes to a screeching stop.
Though he tries, Frans96SE does not have enough reaction time. He collides with the open door hard. His knees and legs smack into the door and he does a forward somersault over it and onto the hard concrete. *THUD*
BrianW checks over his shoulder and sees the streaking Kevin closing in fast.
Kevin: “I’m going to wring your chicken neck, you little #$&%!!”
BrianW has no intention of hanging around long enough to give him the chance. He slams the door, crams the car into first and makes a quick right onto the next side street. He disappears as quickly as he had appeared, leaving Frans96SE writhing on the ground in pain.
** ** **
Back at the finish line, though its still two Jambytes coming to just on Mafia member – the tables have been turned. Its now the MaximaMafia who’s enjoying the taunts and bragging rights. And they’re really yucking it up.
MaximaLuva: “That Frans96SE is about the most uncoordinated slob I’ve ever seen! He can’t even run! Did you see that?! He just tripped, right in the middle of the street!! HAA!!”
EricM: “He did not and you know it damn well!! It was that BrianW driving that Saturn! We all saw it! Believe me, that shrimp is gonna pay!”
** ** **
The lead is all Kevin’s now. He’s got just about two more blocks to go. He checks his watch. 2:58. Two minutes. No problem. The run from here to there can’t take me more than a minute, maybe a minute in a half – “I’ve got thirty seconds to spare.”
Kevin in busy eyeing the prize, suddenly, a manhole cover in the middle of the street, about 20 feet away, slides to one side – and Ryan Fobart pops up!
Kevin: “What the…?”
Ryan Fobart hops up and rushes at the unsuspecting Kevin.
Kevin: “Hey man, how’ya….”
*BAM*
Ryan spears him like Bill Goldberg! The crowd at the finish line falls into complete silence. NO ONE saw this coming – except one person.
Certainly Kevin didn’t see it coming, caught completely off guard, the blow has knocked him backwards about five feet and completely knocked the wind out of him. Ryan takes advantage of his dazed state, picks him up into a vertical press, and delivers a jackhammer down into the concrete!
Woodear can’t contain himself anymore.
Woodear: “That’s it! That’s it!! That’s the Killermove!!! I’d only seen it once before – but that’s it! I can’t believe it! He taught that move to Bill Goldberg when they were both going to U of Oklahoma one year. The guy has ripped him off and made millions off of Ryan’s move!”
The MaximaMafia break out into hysterical celebration. Kevin is out.
** ** **
2:58.52pm, and its all down to this. A final foot race between EricL and Biomax. They are a block away, side by side, tearing the street up. The camps are in the small park at the end of the block, cheering and screaming like it were the 100 meter dash in the Olympics. Whoever turns his item in before the strike of 3:00, wins the event . If EricL prevails, the Jambytes win The Manly Games. If Biomax does MaximaMafia win and thereby secure Andi’s freedom. That simple.
With about 200 meters to go EricL and Biomax are virtually side by side. EricL is dashing along the right side of the street, along a row of parallel parked cars. Biomax is to his left. Suddenly, Biomax starts pointing and yelling at EricL:
Biomax: “LOOK – its former President George Bush!!’
EricL: “Shut up! How stupid do you think I am?! I’m not falling for that gag. I look, and you trip me. Well forget it, brainy-ack. You and that stupid signature of yours. ‘My Best Friend’. You’re really a loser, you know that?”
EricL looks back up just as President Bush steps out from between two parked cars. EricL is stunned. He’s less than three feet away! President Bush turns to square his body to the running EricL, sticks out his right arm and clothes lines EricL as he passes! EricL’s feet come out from beneath him and goes down. Landing on his tail-bone hard! *THUD*
The gathered BBS’ers are in stunned silence.
Booker: “I don’t believe it. I don’t BELIEVE that I just saw that.
Biomax accelerates past the dazed EricL and shouts over his shoulder:
Biomax: “Thanks George!”
Former President Bush yells back to him:
Bush: “Anytime Robert!”
Biomax is now 50 feet from Booker and the crowd. The MaximaMafia are screaming at the top of their collective lungs. Its 2:59.33. “C’MON BIOMAX, C’MON MANNN!! YOU CAN DO IT!!”
Meanwhile, EricL has managed to collect himself and has scrambled to his feet. Biomax is almost there. EricL doesn’t check his watch, but he knows its going to be close.
Biomax bounds the final few feet to Booker and hands him the bottle of Afro Sheen. TheBooker looks at his left wrist, 2:59.44. Booker lifts up the clipboard with the MaximaMafia’s list on it and places a check mark next to “Afro Sheen”.
Booker: “The tie is broken, our score is MaximaMafia 4, Jambytes 3.”
Ten seconds to go. EricL is back up and is running as hard as he can, but the devastating clothes line from George Bush has left him dazed. His vision is blurry and he can barely make out the shouts from his fellow Jambytes.
Seven,…six,…five…
Jambytes: “C’MON ERICL,…C’MON!”
EricL leaps at Booker and slaps the dog collar which nearly cost Wizeguy his arm, into Booker’s hand. Booker checks his watch.
Booker: “3 o’clock and three seconds. Too late. The game has ended. MaximaMafia win the event, four items to three and win The Manly Games, three events to two.”
Pandemonium breaks out in the MaximaMafia camp. Guys are jumping up and down, high fiving, and rolling around in the grass. The MaximaMafia hoist Biomax up onto their shoulders and start to parade him around the park. A chant of: “RAH-BERT, RAH-BERT, RAH-BERT” comes up from the giddy MaxMafia members.
Matt93GXE breaks loose from the celebration and walks over to the dejected Jambytes:
Matt93GXE: “Ok you pathetic losers – now you have to give Andi back.”
Loudmaxima: “We know it, we know it.”
Matt93GXE: “Next week!”
Jambo: “Yeh, yeh.”
Matt93GXE: “Next week, right here on As the BBS Turns – you miserable punks cough him up!”
Loudmaxima: “Don’t worry about it dough-boy!”
JerryT: “Oh you’ll get him back alright!”
** ** **
Signed by - theBooker, Creator/Author/Editor-in-cheif of the hit series, "As the BBS Turns". Position of Quality Assurance Manager has been filled and a strong candidate for Technical Editor has been identified (pending drug test & non-compete disclosures). Its your world, we're just living in it. This forumn was a lot more fun before we all starting taking it & ourselves so seriously. 96 Pebble Beige 5-spd SE, with modest yet effective modifications, daily. The internet is no place for an OSU, State Penn or Michigan fan. Badgers - bringing home the Roses, AGAIN!
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